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Cant afford to make it to Rome to see the Apollo Belvedere in all his glory?

To be honest you'd be hard pressed to see him at all through all the screaming teenagers and selfie-takers, guards and gesticulating guides. Instead, let Pasquale take his place, mirroring him in every way, only better, because he's yours, you can do with him whatever you like, put him wherever you like, use him however you want, he is entirely subservient to your desires, he even likes having things put on his head, it makes him feel useful...